You think you love him but you don’t even know him.
You just met him at orientation and you thought he was fine.
To you he’s a man. Older than the high school boys you’re used to but younger than father or uncles. He’s not your brother.
So you to you he is perfect for you, a youngin’ on the journey to becoming grown.
He’s grown. He’s perfect.
Dear freshman, this senior is not perfect, and to be quite frank if he’s showing interest in you from jump it’s not love, you’re just fresh meat. Someone who doesn’t know him, his reputation. You’re a clean and eager slate. Perfect prey.
But no one can tell you that, you’ll have to learn for yourself.
When he gets your number and ya’ll text and talk and facetime and shit and meet up late night in the library or you come over to Netflix and chill.
No one can tell you this isn’t real when suddenly the movie is just background noise and there ya’ll are, doing things your mama said was meant only for grown folks.
You’re grown now. Your mama would be sick if she knew. Your dad for sure would be ready to beat his ass if he found out.
But you’re excited, and since you can’t tell your parents you tell your “friends”. “Friends” who are really just the group of girls who live in your dorm or were in your orientation group.
You don’t know these girls. And another quick spolier- you won’t fuck with none of these bitches four years from now in the spring when this whole college experience is said and done.
But right now they’re you’re “tribe”, and you tell them every detail.
Of how he’s 21 and cool enough to buy ya’ll a bottle. Maybe even let you smoke his weed.
How he has his own apartment off campus that he shares with 5-6 other dudes.
And how he made you feel like a woman.
And while you’re caught up in the rapture these people will be caught up in the chatter.
Not too long afterwards he’ll text you saying ya’ll need to talk, and he’ll ask to meet you somewhere in the dark.
He’ll tell you to keep ya’ll on the low. He might even have the audacity to say keep his name out of your mouth.
And you’ll be confused.
You thought love was blooming.
But what feels like a semi-truck hitting you in the stomach is really the anxiety hitting you letting you know that what you thought this was … wasn’t.
It’ll make you immediately want to put up walls.
To not let anyone in.
But don’t do that.
Instead, approach these men and these friends with caution.
Keep loving but listen to your heart. Listen to your spirit.
Give things time to reveal themselves.
Give love time to reveal itself.