as much as i hate to admit it, you were a season in my life that i needed to go through. a roller coaster of emotions that taught me that things can go from sweet to sour real quick. and that no matter how much love you show a person if there’s something about you that they don’t want to love then they just won’t.
i was there despite your flaws. not that i didn’t have my own but you struggled with things that had most people turning their back on you. i wasn’t one of those people. and you appreciated it for a while. it’s what made us close.
i understood you better than most. and even though i got you, you showed me a lot of things. you put me on to everything from music to vibrations and i am forever changed by that.
others found you strange but i found you beautifully fascinating. i don’t know that i ever said it or realized until now that maybe that was something you would’ve liked to have heard.
still. we lived in a different world, you and i. we lived in a space where things that mattered to the rest of them didn’t matter to us. it was comforting.
and then out of no where it went from exciting to exhausting.
emotionally we got to a place where we leaned too far into each other and now we needed each other to stand.
that wasn’t healthy.
and as i got on my feet you fell flat. and i felt bad and you got angry. resentful. vengeful.
we went from being totally wrapped up in each other to hating each other just like that.
someone i loved became someone i feared.
that shit is wild.
i had to run as far as i could from you. i feared for my life. i feared for your life.
the distance between us allowed you to heal and me to blossom and find others whom i could love just as much as you.
we were never the same.
and while we haven’t talked for years i still think about you from time to time.
i hope you’re still healing well and without scars.
i know that i am.